i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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