He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
