Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
