What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
