I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
