we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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