i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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