More tranny stories later!
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
