I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
