Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
