She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
