..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
