So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
