id be glad to
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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