Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
