She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
