Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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