So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
This can only be settled by a dance off.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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