The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
