let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
