Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
