He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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