I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
