O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
