Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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