Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
