Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
