What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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