You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
