I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
