Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
