don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
