What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
