everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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