so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
love makes seman taste better
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
