Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
