This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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