Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
