Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
