i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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