my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
