He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
