would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
