so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Your penis caused this!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
