sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
false alarm. still invincible.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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