she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
