you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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