Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
