good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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