I wish I could teleport
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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