check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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