WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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