from now on my penis is your penis
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
