I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
