I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
