Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
