I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize