we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Houston, we have a squirter
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
