Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize