I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
