I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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