so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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