Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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