Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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