if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
