Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
