she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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