he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
