I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize