Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
barbara walters just said penis...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
