I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wish I only lived at night.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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