I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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