Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
