I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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