He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize