He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
